State of Mind at 39

 

State of mind at 39.

 

To be understood is to be home. It is either you do, or you do not.  End of the day the world is not going to believe you when you say that you tried. Coz the trials are not visible just like as in a vaccine. Either we have it or do not. Its only people, the ones who try to be involved with our life would know and appreciate the fact that we are trying.  Indeed, it’s tough to actually find such kind of people in a lifetime when you do please hold on to them.

 

I have slowly learnt that even when I react it won’t change anything. It won’t make people suddenly love or respect me and it definitely won’t change their attitudes or mindsets, people will remain who they are,  the one who cheats would cheat, the one who is honest would remain so.

 

Sometimes there is much more peace when we just let things be, let people go, and do not fight for closure. Closure matters but you do not get it always, it’s better to stop trying. Do not chase answers don’t expect people to understand where you are coming from.

 

And I am slowly learning that life is better lived when you don’t center it on what’s happening around you and rather center it around what is happening inside of you. Work on yourself and for your own inner peace.  

 

If you are the person who is always there for others, know that your heart is rare, know that you make people feel wanted and that you make people feel seen, you make them feel like they have a purpose. But from time to time you need to remind yourself that you deserve to take all the energy you put out into the roll and invest back into yourself. You are also worthy of the love you keep giving to everybody else. Take a break and nourish the softness inside you. 

 

The real love amounts to let a person be what he/she really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be, to keep their love we keep pretending, performing and it’s a loop which never ends and we get caught up in this poisonous pretentious circle  to an extent that we will end up forgetting who we really are . You are chained to that performance and let people like you and rate you for how well you do so. When you stop pretending that’s when people will hate you, as you don’t meet their standards anymore and you will eventually be distant and blurry to their eyes. 

 

Sometimes we just need to go far away just to realize who is closer to us. First, we become closer to yourselves work and invest in yourselves and let them right people find you. It might take time and I am sure it will in some cases, but we will end up in the right company and the flow would be much better. 

 

Life is not linear, neither is your journey nor your pain or your healings. It’s very random, so random that you find yourself in the craziest moments of highs and you will experience excruciating pain and deep-down lows. And how we let these times affect us, would decide our future. Do you plan to make life linear yes, we all do, but should we?  I suppose not coz the whole thing called life doesn’t just depend on you alone, there is time, place and there are family, friends, relationships, colleagues and many more people or the aliens who are unpredictable, annoying and lovable all at the same time.

 

Let us just be true to ourselves. Let it flow, go with the flow and get the most out of it,  juice the pulp as best you can, the love, the friendship, the companionship, the career, the achievements, the pain, the loss, a hot cup of coffee, a fresh brew, a great run or a killer workout it’s just amazing to feel everything completely and intensely. The learning process is rewarding and so is the giving, give out to the world, to the people nothing and no one stays forever. Just be in a fearless in the pursuit of authenticity as a human and never stop experiencing Life it has a lot in store, we just need to go grab them as we go. 

 

The most convincing sign that someone is truly living their best life, is their lack of desire to show the world that they are living their best life. Your best life will not seek validation.

 

Memories. Tears. Distance. Truth. Desires. Responsibilities. Relationships. Loneliness. Milestones. Words. Music.

 

Myself at 39. During a Disastrous 2020.